The week before surgery

  After my consultation, I became very depressed.  Fear and anxiety set in.  More so when I noticed my foot getting more purple. The swelling needed it to go down a lot more before getting the fusion surgery.  It had been almost 2 weeks and I have not seen any progress.  The spot under my foot (the arch) had turned almost blackish and on the top of my foot, the under my toes there was a line of purple.  Worry was flooding my head. No matter what anyone said, I was scared. I was being a baby about surgery.

  I am a big girl, very overweight.. I am uncomfortable in my own skin... The thought of having all these people see me in a hospital gown ugh.... Were they going to give me enough anesthesia? What if they didn't give me enough? Was I allergic to the anesthesia? What if I woke up in the middle of it?  What if I had to pee? Were they going to cut inside this big black hole on the bottom of my foot? Was it going to hurt? What if they can't find my veins?  All these thoughts scrambling through my head. I cried a bunch of times out of pure fear.

  A few days after my consultation, I came home from work laid in bed and the thoughts started rushing in... Luckily, it was like he read my mind.. my cell phone rang, it was an unknown number so I did not pick it up... and then my home phone rang. It was Dr. Levine! He wanted to tell me that the cat scan showed the details to back up our decision for surgery.  He assured me everything was going to be ok and answered some of my crazy questions I had been thinking of.  At the end of our conversation he told me to have a drink and relax..

 During the week before surgery, I needed to wear "the boot" at all times except when I was doing exercises on my foot or showering.  The exercises consisted of moving my foot up and down and trying to rotate it. This is quite difficult when your foot is swollen but I tried my best.

  I quit smoking, and I was losing weight. I had been dieting but I think the stress of everything plus using muscles I was not used to in order to get around was helping with the weight loss.. Oh and probably the fact that I was only eating whatever I was given, being that I could not get to the refrigerator or cook for myself.  Lucky for me I had a great support system.  My mom and sister live upstairs and my boyfriend and I live downstairs.  Once I was given the boot I was able to go up and down the stairs by crawling or climbing. I had developed a system for everything.

   We thought the easiest thing for me to do during the recovery was to sleep upstairs in my mothers room.  She has two beds together that are Craftmatic adjustable. This would turn out to be a big help.  We were told the recovery would be rough, I would need a lot of care in the beginning, so we began preparing... Computer chair in the bathroom (we took of the arms and back), doors were detached and removed (the wheelchair did not fit through our doorways plus we have saddles on the floor so it was a process to get over the humps), commode, wheelchair and crutches were nearby.