Stuck in Bed

On our way home from the hospital, I called my job to tell them how it went.  Apparently the pain meds made me silly because I had my whole office laughing.  I can't recall what I told them but I must have been slightly out of it, although I felt normal.  When we reached the house and the 3 steps to get inside, I knew there was no way I could get in on my own.  I had a splint up to my knee, and could not do the crawling I was used to.  I was unable to use crutches or a walker to get up the steps. Luckily my sisters' boyfriend, Jimmy was there.  He is a strong man, (he lifts heavy things in competitions) and he picked me up and got me into the house.  Little did I know that that would be the last time in 2 weeks that I would be able to be outdoors.

I managed to get into my moms room where I would be staying during the recovery process.   My mom and Damien (my boyfriend) came up with a chart for my meds that I had to take through out the day.  The commode was set up next to my bed.  I felt good, I was ready to recover and become normal.

I ate dinner in bed.  Damien ate next to me sitting in my wheelchair using my commode as a table.  It was quite comical.  Things weren't as funny the first time I actually had to use the commode.... Damien and my mom had to physically lift me up and on to it.  It was very difficult and frustrating.  Doing that multiple times a day was exhausting. It knocked the life out of me.

I felt great until that first night home.  They warned me that the nerve block and anesthesia would wear off so I had to make sure I took my meds on time and hourly.  Well at exactly midnight I screamed in pain.  It felt like a metal slab was being hammered into my foot.  After a few hours it went away and that was the only major pain I felt.

Looking back it was tolerable, at the time I thought the pain would never leave.   I was not allowed to take advil, or alieve.  I had to take (2) Percocets, every few hours with food.  400 Mg of Ibuprofen every 8 hours for 3 days straight, (1) Enteric coated asprin for 42 days straight, Lyrica (for nerves) for 5 days, and Zofran (for nausea) 3x a day.

The first 3 days I needed to rest & keep my foot elevated at all times. My family were my on call nurses.  Damien slept upstairs and he and mom took turns getting up throughout the night giving me my pills and a snack.  The Percocets were weird.  I could not see how people could be addicted to a pain pill like this... I mean all it did was make me not concentrate and I got sleepy.  I could not watch tv or do anything for more then a half hour at a time, I'd doze in and out of sleep. I was kind of pissed off by this because I thought I would be able to read or watch movies, and my attention span was gone.  I was not bored because I just napped.

After about 5 days when I stopped the percocets, (or slowed down with it) I was trusted enough to go to use the commode on my own.  I had built up arm strength and I was no longer dazing out.  On day 5 I realized I had not pooped in almost a week.  It did not phase me because I felt fine.  I was never constipated before and did not think it would be a big deal, until I finally had to go and nothing would come out. Damn percocets! I was warned about this, and although I drank lots of water, coffee etc nothing worked,  It felt like a brick was trying to come out of me.  My mom had to get me laxatives etc.
The whole situation was terribly humiliating.

Once I was able to concentrate, I used my sisters Laptop and started going on line, and checking my email and becoming more social.  I still had no real pain until at night, my heel felt like it was being drilled into.  I knew my surgery consisted of midfoot incisions, and a piece of the side of my heel would have been scraped out and used in the fusing of bone.  This did not match the feeling.. It felt like my heel was rubbing on the fiberglass splint (cast).  I could feel it being cut. It was very painful but if I positioned it correctly I would be ok.  I knew the splint was loosening up from wear and because I was continuously loosing weight, perhaps this was the cause of the pain?  Regardless, it was bearable and I knew it would go away.  The other feeling I was getting was a numbness/tingly sensation in my foot.
It would come and go and was very annoying.  It sent chills down my back.  Again, I noticed it mainly at night when I lay there trying to sleep.  My lack of sleep at night was becoming bothersome.  I was getting frustrated and would sleep the best in the mornings.

My day consisted of waking up, my mom bringing me breakfast in bed, my sister lending me her computer and me reading a book.  Somewhere in between I would have lunch in bed and continue either selling stuff on ebay or reading.  I sold a ton of stuff while I was stuck in bed.  I took pics in bed, and listed items online.  I made myself some cash while I was stuck at home.  I never in a million years would have thought I was capable of reading.  I always had difficulty focusing long enough to remember what I read... I guess because my head was clear and I was stuck doing nothing, I was able to read.  I read 3 books in a few days, and was very proud of myself.

During and after the surgery

The morning of surgery I felt sick. I was scheduled to have surgery at 8am. I had to be in the hospital at 6am to prepare.  When we (my mom and boyfriend) arrived, we were greeted by a pleasant man at the front door.  I felt like I was going into an airport. He offered to take my bags and wheel me around.  My first impression was positive and I felt as comfortable as I could going into a hospital.  The Waiting area was beautiful. Spotless, clean and empty. I expected to see people laying on hospital beds, disfigured or very ill. Luckily because it was so early the place was empty and I could freak out internally on my own.

The waiting time was rough. I was anticipating everything that could go wrong.  I filled out a bunch of paperwork and must have said my name, date of birth and social security number a zillion times.  When I got into the room, to be prepped, It was just as I had expected.  A few beds with curtains and lots of equipment.  A sweet nurse came out and asked me questions and went over a few things with me. After she left someone else came and washed my foot with the yellow stuff. I got a heavy duty gown (which I feared) and disposable underwear! I was panicky because of everything else, now I had to show my body.. I do not even wear a bathing suit in front of my friends... these poor people having to see my rolls and stuff.

About 5 other people came my way, telling me the procedure and what to expect etc. When I finally saw Dr. Levine in his scrubs, I felt a sense of relief.  I stressed to everyone that I was very scared so he told me I would get a little cocktail to calm down.  The nurse that gave me the IV made me laugh, he was a character. I give him major props, he gave me the IV and I barely felt it.  I feared this because my previous doctors have trouble finding my veins, and getting the blood to actually flow. This guy was a pro!  One of my fears.... gone! The anesthesiologist was the last to come in.  She gave me the cocktail and as I was talking to my mom, I felt really sick for a minute, like I was extremely drunk ready to pass out. I remember saying I feel really dizzy... Next thing I know I'm being rolled into a room where I saw some one with purple and green hair...

I wake up and it is all over. I could not believe after 3 1/2 hours I went through it all and I was fine. I felt no pain except my bladder was killing me because I had to pee so bad.  My mom came in the room with me and helped the nurse with the bed pan. I was ready to explode that I only felt embarrassed after the fact.  My leg had a nerve block so It was numb. I had to pee a few times after and I went to the bathroom with the help of my mom.  When I got out of the bed, I noticed it felt like I pulled a muscle in my thigh.  I figured if this was the only form of pain I have, I am lucky.  God only knows what type of position they put my legs into in order to operate on my foot... After checking it out a bit more I could see where the tourniquet had imprinted itself.  Another nurse came in and had me practice using a walker.  I had a giant splint (or as I called it a cast) on I was basically practicing to hop.  Not easy!

My boyfriend came in to join us..   During the surgery he went downtown to Billy's Bakery and picked up some of my favorite cupcakes.  I was so happy! They gave me a turkey sandwich in the post op room because I had not eaten anything. I took some more pain meds (Percocet) and the nurses checked on me to make sure It did not make me sick.   It was already mid afternoon and I could not wait to get home and dig into the cupcakes.

The week before surgery

  After my consultation, I became very depressed.  Fear and anxiety set in.  More so when I noticed my foot getting more purple. The swelling needed it to go down a lot more before getting the fusion surgery.  It had been almost 2 weeks and I have not seen any progress.  The spot under my foot (the arch) had turned almost blackish and on the top of my foot, the under my toes there was a line of purple.  Worry was flooding my head. No matter what anyone said, I was scared. I was being a baby about surgery.

  I am a big girl, very overweight.. I am uncomfortable in my own skin... The thought of having all these people see me in a hospital gown ugh.... Were they going to give me enough anesthesia? What if they didn't give me enough? Was I allergic to the anesthesia? What if I woke up in the middle of it?  What if I had to pee? Were they going to cut inside this big black hole on the bottom of my foot? Was it going to hurt? What if they can't find my veins?  All these thoughts scrambling through my head. I cried a bunch of times out of pure fear.

  A few days after my consultation, I came home from work laid in bed and the thoughts started rushing in... Luckily, it was like he read my mind.. my cell phone rang, it was an unknown number so I did not pick it up... and then my home phone rang. It was Dr. Levine! He wanted to tell me that the cat scan showed the details to back up our decision for surgery.  He assured me everything was going to be ok and answered some of my crazy questions I had been thinking of.  At the end of our conversation he told me to have a drink and relax..

 During the week before surgery, I needed to wear "the boot" at all times except when I was doing exercises on my foot or showering.  The exercises consisted of moving my foot up and down and trying to rotate it. This is quite difficult when your foot is swollen but I tried my best.

  I quit smoking, and I was losing weight. I had been dieting but I think the stress of everything plus using muscles I was not used to in order to get around was helping with the weight loss.. Oh and probably the fact that I was only eating whatever I was given, being that I could not get to the refrigerator or cook for myself.  Lucky for me I had a great support system.  My mom and sister live upstairs and my boyfriend and I live downstairs.  Once I was given the boot I was able to go up and down the stairs by crawling or climbing. I had developed a system for everything.

   We thought the easiest thing for me to do during the recovery was to sleep upstairs in my mothers room.  She has two beds together that are Craftmatic adjustable. This would turn out to be a big help.  We were told the recovery would be rough, I would need a lot of care in the beginning, so we began preparing... Computer chair in the bathroom (we took of the arms and back), doors were detached and removed (the wheelchair did not fit through our doorways plus we have saddles on the floor so it was a process to get over the humps), commode, wheelchair and crutches were nearby.

Consultation with the Foot Specialist

  The Hospital For Special Surgery is one of the best hospitals in the country. We were able to make a consultation appointment with Dr. Levine (a foot and ankle specialist) 1 week later on Monday, July 26th. In the meantime, my orthopedist prescribed me a CAM walker boot for protection (which allowed me to go to work in the wheelchair but be protected).  I wore it at all times - even when I slept.  Previously I had my foot out in the open no sock, shoe, nothing because it was so swollen nothing would fit on it.  I was afraid of my foot. I analyzed it every day noticing changes of color, width etc.. I did everything I was told by the orthopedist. I was allowed to go to work as long as I kept my foot up, (to decrease swelling) and iced it.  I prayed that since I was doing everything I was told, the specialist would tell me I did not need surgery.

  Dr. Levine checked my MRI as well as the X-ray. One look at my bruised foot and he knew.... I had a Lisfranc ligament tear which disrupts the movement of my toes.  If left untreated it can case post traumatic flat foot syndrome, as well as chronic arthritis. My heart stopped when I heard that I need surgery.  This was my fear. I knew one day I would have to be in a hospital, but I hoped it would only be to give birth. Hospitals freak me out, surgery freaks me out... the anxiety was setting in. The doctor assured me the new technique called a "fusion surgery" would be easy and undoubtably successful.  Just a few years ago the old method of using pins and removing them meant going through 2 surgeries. The worst part of the fusion surgery would be the first 6-8 weeks recovery and for me, being a smoker, I had to quit smoking immediately. Smoking can increase the risk of a non union & foot not healing properly.

  We scheduled the surgery for Tuesday August 3rd at 8am. It was recommended that I go to the hospital (located across the street from the doctors office) for pre-op the day of my consultation instead of before surgery.  I had to get an x-ray of my chest, cat scan of my foot, and blood test.  Surprisingly all of these procedures in the hospital took less than 2 hours.  HSS was definitely owning up to their reputation. The pre-surgery tests and hospital staff were not as scary as I expected, but I was still very disappointed and fearful that I was going to have surgery.

Welcome to the documentation of my left foot.

Hello all!
  I hope this blog will help others understand this injury and the treatment of it, and help me keep a timeline of events during this trying time. On Monday July 12th, 2010 I missed a step going into my basement apartment (in my moms house).   I laid there on the floor, shocked. The pain was pretty bad for about 5 minutes and then went away. I decided to just wait there for my boyfriend to come home from work to help me to the couch because I knew I couldn't walk on it. It was like the commercial "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up." I was embarrassed, and hoped it was nothing, but when he came home he saw that my foot was swelling fast. My mom came down and we iced it all night. I called my job, and researched some local doctors phone numbers for the next morning.  There was no way I was going to the emergency room. I have never been to the hospital nor was I planning on it.  I was not in pain, It was late at night and I was still in shock.

  At first we thought it was just a bad sprain or a possible break. My foot was blowing up. The next morning my mother took me to an orthopedist who told me the X-Rays showed no break and I would be walking on it in a couple of days. Luckily my mother spoke up and said I should get an MRI on it to see if there is any damage. All I can say is the process of getting the MRI results was ridiculous. The MRI was done on a Wednesday and I was supposed to get the results the next day. By the weekend I was really pissed off because I had already taken a week off from work and wanted to know what the hell was going on.  I really couldn't get myself to get in the car again. Hopping and crawling had taken a toll on me.  Thankfully we were able to get a wheelchair and crutches from a nearby medical supply company.  My foot had a huge bruise on the bottom and bruising was beginning to show around the toes.

  I awoke to a phone call that Monday morning telling me real bad news. The ligament had almost a complete tear & I had a slight fracture at my 4th metatarsal, so my orthopedist referred me to a foot specialist at The Hospital for Special Surgery in Manhattan.

The top of my foot (after having a purplish reddish bruise for a few days)  turned greenish yellow.

The bottom of my foot (so swollen you can not see the arch) with bruising becoming more visible.